I woke up around 6am this Saturday morning feeling like I can't sleep in since I have so many time slots to schedule in my day... Eating 5 time slots, Insulin 2 time slots, and blood sugar testing 4 time slots. Looking at my first full day of this, I felt a little nervous. Then my mind went to the 200 other things I should get done and I started crying. My husband. He has been so good through this. I think I was tossing and turning and must have woke him up, but he just held me close and let me cry and then talked me through my day and all the pressures I feel from other commitments. He said he feels helpless in this whole situation. That came as a shock to me, but I can understand what he's feeling. He is anything but helpless! He has been so wonderful to me when I've needed him the most. He's massaged my calf muscles when they cramp up, he's been running around getting things for me, he's just held me close and let me cry healing tears, he's prayed with me and helped me turn all this over to God, he's kept up with Samuel's school work when I've not been able to, he's not minced words with me when I've needed to hear them, he's working all day providing for me so I could be home right now and not working, he bought me blueberry, gluten-free muffins by Udi's (way too expensive, but oh, so, so good), he's loved me unconditionally and been my biggest support through everything. I love him more every day and thank God for him.
I can face my day with 6 needles and carb counting thanks to my wonderful Lord and Savior. I must add that with my husband's encouragement and 3 cups of hot blueberry tea, maybe 4 by the time I'm done, (0 carbs) :o) my day is looking good! Plus, the snow outside is just icing on the cake this morning!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
$400 or so worth of diabetes "stuff" for $40
It's been a long day. Looking forward to going to bed early. I first HAVE to share what God did today! Such an awesome God we serve! I went to my appointment with the diabetes nurse/dietitian. It was a 2 and 1/2 hour long appointment. She was so sweet, patient, informative and giving. She went over the whole gestational diabetes info with me. She went through the whole process of using the machine to test my blood sugar level. Then she offered me any machine for free of the 8 samples she had on the table. I told her I didn't know one from the other, so she grabbed what looked like the most expensive one there with a USB port and all and told me she'd go get me a new one in a box. She said she chose this one because she had the most strips for that one available to give me free. All the other ones she just had a couple of packs of 10 strips to offer, but this one she had 2 bottles left, one with 50 and one with 25 and gave all 75 to me free. All the strips for the machines she had cost $1.00 each. I will be using minimum 4 a day and some days more! That alone is $75 worth! The machine was around $50 too. Then she came back in the room with 2 boxes of syringes that each had 100 syringes in them and said, "They're yours too!" She was having as much fun giving me all this as I was receiving it! She threw in a wad of alcohol swabs too. Oh, and she added a Getting Started Take Home Kit full of supplies too! I sat there wanting to cry but was too excited, although I do think a tear managed it's way out. I was overwhelmed. I honestly don't have a clue how to even really put a price on all she gave me, but I feel blessed! Maybe she gets to do this with every patient, but I felt like God was right there with me jumping up down with excitement and joy having fun blessing His child! Such an overwhelmingly amazing feeling!
Well, then the fun really began as she went meticulously through the whole process of shooting myself with a needle... Not the easiest thing for me to do, but she had me actually inject saline solution into my abdomen to practice. Bleh. But I really appreciated her thoroughness and great help! I had no problem (took me a while) but was able to mix the N and the R into one syringe and do it fine at home my first time. So I think she's a very good teacher to make me get it on my own right away!
After all this, we still had to talk about my meal plans. (boo, hiss) Ok, so it's not as bad as I imagined. It's not a no sugar diet, but just a low carb diet. She worked with me on substitutions with gluten free foods...and I CAN make my bread and treat it as a slice of whole wheat since there is enough fibrous flours in it. :o) Let's just say that made me happy. I left there feeling like I can do this with God's help and even gave her a hug and thanked her for everything!
What all this meant is that when I went to the Pharmacy, all I needed to get was the actual insulin. Of course, the price she said to me was $217.00 for it, which made my mouth hang open, but then she said, "Oh, that's not been adjusted with your insurance. Hold on while we check on this." So I waited and the other lady told me that will be $50 instead, $25 for each bottle. Yay! So she went to run my credit card and I noticed it was only for $40 and asked her if this was a mistake. She re-checked it and said, no I guess it's only $20 a bottle. Big smile... SO... I just had to share how God gave us so, so much today for a grand total of $40!!! I just love that! Jehovah Jireh, my Provider!!
Now, I just need to sit down and figure everything out and get all my ducks in a row... Kinda hard right now since I'm feeling a little scatter-brained, sore and tired. But, I surely cannot complain after all God has done! To God be the glory!
Well, then the fun really began as she went meticulously through the whole process of shooting myself with a needle... Not the easiest thing for me to do, but she had me actually inject saline solution into my abdomen to practice. Bleh. But I really appreciated her thoroughness and great help! I had no problem (took me a while) but was able to mix the N and the R into one syringe and do it fine at home my first time. So I think she's a very good teacher to make me get it on my own right away!
After all this, we still had to talk about my meal plans. (boo, hiss) Ok, so it's not as bad as I imagined. It's not a no sugar diet, but just a low carb diet. She worked with me on substitutions with gluten free foods...and I CAN make my bread and treat it as a slice of whole wheat since there is enough fibrous flours in it. :o) Let's just say that made me happy. I left there feeling like I can do this with God's help and even gave her a hug and thanked her for everything!
What all this meant is that when I went to the Pharmacy, all I needed to get was the actual insulin. Of course, the price she said to me was $217.00 for it, which made my mouth hang open, but then she said, "Oh, that's not been adjusted with your insurance. Hold on while we check on this." So I waited and the other lady told me that will be $50 instead, $25 for each bottle. Yay! So she went to run my credit card and I noticed it was only for $40 and asked her if this was a mistake. She re-checked it and said, no I guess it's only $20 a bottle. Big smile... SO... I just had to share how God gave us so, so much today for a grand total of $40!!! I just love that! Jehovah Jireh, my Provider!!
Now, I just need to sit down and figure everything out and get all my ducks in a row... Kinda hard right now since I'm feeling a little scatter-brained, sore and tired. But, I surely cannot complain after all God has done! To God be the glory!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
A great day despite the call about Diabetes!
I did get a call this morning saying I have diabetes and have to start immediately on insulin shots and have to test my sugar at least 4 times a day for the rest of my pregnancy. This is for Cayla right now, to jump start the sugar problem as soon as possible for her sake. I will not have to do insulin shots after the pregnancy. I think the hardest thing about the call was the surprise and unexpectedness of it. It did set me off crying I think just because the shock of it all. I was finally able to talk to the dietitian today and will meet with her tomorrow at 11am. She will help me figure out menu options that include Celiac Disease and Diabetes. Cruel punishment now that Dairy Queen just opened back up down the road... Ok, so gluten-free/sugar-free here I come. Got the gluten free down and am sure I will make it just fine without sugar too. The fun part and best part of all this is that my whole family is going to join me on my sugar-free journey. They know this, but I'm not sure if they believe it just yet. Just wait boys... :D If this helps Cayla, of course I'll do it gladly now that the shock has worn off. Dr. Rajabi already has my insulin and syringes and "stuff" waiting for me at the Pharmacy. Yay. I think I'll tell Lowell to buy stock in test strips. :D I'm just wondering why my OB/GYN didn't call me or jump on this. I'd been told they'd call if there was a problem, so I assumed all was well. Oh well, I guess I should be thanking Dr. Rajabi. There's a bit of twisted irony in that...
Well, I have to say too that God cheered me up considerably the rest of the afternoon. He's good like that! I'd been wanting to find just a couple of long sleeve, light weight maternity shirts to wear when I go out of the house. Let's just say at home, it's t-shirts and my big sweaters. I have one maternity shirt like this that my friend Tina Siesel bought me for my birthday and has been a life-saver, but I think I need more than one now. I just felt like driving up to Ashtabula harbor to the Goodwill store to see if they happened to have anything. I found their small section of maternity and was ready to leave when I realized there was a shirt there that was maternity, but I didn't think it was at first. I looked at it and thought it might fit, tried it on and it fit great. Went back to the rack and lo and behold, there was another one just like it but a different color. So, at $4 a piece, I splurged and bought both of them! What a treat! :o) They'll work great. Thank you Lord for your simple but wonderful provision!
Then since we were already in the harbor, I had to stop at my favorite store, Basic Ingredients, owned by a sweet, godly lady. I didn't realize she knew what was going on since last Friday, but found out she's been reading my blog since her church had asked prayer last Sunday night. Amazing how word spreads! After a great talk with her, she had all my gluten-free flours I needed. I'm going to try to save money and bake a little more. Of course, I just now as I'm typing, realize that the dietitian will tell me to cut out bread now that I'm ready and in the mood to bake my own gluten-free bread... Isn't that the way it goes. Maybe she'll tell me that brown rice flour, sorghum flour, millet flour, tapioca and corn starch and potato flakes combo will be ok. Just reading over the list, I know the corn and potato are huge starches, so no, I probably won't be able to use it... OK, moving on... I did buy some decaf blueberry tea too. Whew! Now I'm happy again thinking about the blueberry tea. It's all good and God will help me through the next couple of months. You know, on that note, my OB/GYN put my due date at May 8th. The computer at Hillcrest Hospital and the ultrasound, put my due date at April 30th. I like that date much better. Don't you? :o)
The last part of this evening that cheered me up was going to dinner for a friend's birthday party. So what if it was Pizza Hut, and I had to have their salad bar instead of pizza, but the fellowship was wonderful! Really good to see friends from the store I hadn't seen in months and others too! God knows just what I need when I need it! Thank you Lord for a wonderful day (despite the morning fiasco)! So blessed to be God's child and in His care!
Well, I have to say too that God cheered me up considerably the rest of the afternoon. He's good like that! I'd been wanting to find just a couple of long sleeve, light weight maternity shirts to wear when I go out of the house. Let's just say at home, it's t-shirts and my big sweaters. I have one maternity shirt like this that my friend Tina Siesel bought me for my birthday and has been a life-saver, but I think I need more than one now. I just felt like driving up to Ashtabula harbor to the Goodwill store to see if they happened to have anything. I found their small section of maternity and was ready to leave when I realized there was a shirt there that was maternity, but I didn't think it was at first. I looked at it and thought it might fit, tried it on and it fit great. Went back to the rack and lo and behold, there was another one just like it but a different color. So, at $4 a piece, I splurged and bought both of them! What a treat! :o) They'll work great. Thank you Lord for your simple but wonderful provision!
Then since we were already in the harbor, I had to stop at my favorite store, Basic Ingredients, owned by a sweet, godly lady. I didn't realize she knew what was going on since last Friday, but found out she's been reading my blog since her church had asked prayer last Sunday night. Amazing how word spreads! After a great talk with her, she had all my gluten-free flours I needed. I'm going to try to save money and bake a little more. Of course, I just now as I'm typing, realize that the dietitian will tell me to cut out bread now that I'm ready and in the mood to bake my own gluten-free bread... Isn't that the way it goes. Maybe she'll tell me that brown rice flour, sorghum flour, millet flour, tapioca and corn starch and potato flakes combo will be ok. Just reading over the list, I know the corn and potato are huge starches, so no, I probably won't be able to use it... OK, moving on... I did buy some decaf blueberry tea too. Whew! Now I'm happy again thinking about the blueberry tea. It's all good and God will help me through the next couple of months. You know, on that note, my OB/GYN put my due date at May 8th. The computer at Hillcrest Hospital and the ultrasound, put my due date at April 30th. I like that date much better. Don't you? :o)
The last part of this evening that cheered me up was going to dinner for a friend's birthday party. So what if it was Pizza Hut, and I had to have their salad bar instead of pizza, but the fellowship was wonderful! Really good to see friends from the store I hadn't seen in months and others too! God knows just what I need when I need it! Thank you Lord for a wonderful day (despite the morning fiasco)! So blessed to be God's child and in His care!
Diabetes? I guess so.
Just got a call from my regular OB's office telling me that I'm diabetic, and I have to start insulin shots asap. Really? I just had my blood sugar tested Dec. 13th, non fasting and it was 126. Today she said my blood sugar from the end of January, that covers the last 3 months, was 290 and no one called me to tell me. Dr. Rajabi called my OB and told her to get onto this apparently. For some reason, this news pushed me over the edge this morning, and I cried on the phone with the nurse and then burst into tears after we hung up... I will be one happy camper when my hormone levels aren't quite so high. So, off to get my shower and go to the hospital today and find out how to give myself insulin shots. Just typing this is making me cry again... Aye, yie, yie... I'm a mess. :P Tomorrow I get to meet with the dietitian at ACMC to get some info and such. Wish I could get a hold of myself right now... It's somehow easier to trust God in the bigger things and forget to trust in the "smaller" things. Maybe 1st it's back to Psalms again this morning. :D
The Amniocentesis Day...
A picture from today's ultrasound of our precious Cayla Joy's little face... Just gotta love it!
Today has been an emotional day. We were able to find the hospital without a problem... I just need to look at the directions before we get to that part of the trip. It was actually harder to find the Dr.'s office in the hospital. I realized I have no idea what Hillcrest Hospital is, but it's definitely more than just any kind of pediatrics branch of Cleveland Clinic...
Lowell and I had a very good, informative talk with Dr. Rajabi. He was so good! He drew pictures to describe Cayla's condition, answered all our questions, and was so patient, clear and understanding with us. The whole staff there was wonderful. So over-the-top in helping us through every step. He explained that this is a syndrome in that it has many levels of possibilities in severeness which makes every case very individualized. He is looking for 5 main things in the left side of her heart. Each could be at a differing degree of defect. I don't know that I could remember it all, but something like the aorta, the aorta ventricle (or something), the valve between the 2 chambers, and the lower chamber... ok, so I really can't remember. Anyways, he said he will be looking at these parts as closely as possible today. He also said that he did not want to do the amniocentesis unless the ultrasound showed any other unexplained abnormalities that would lead to a possible chromosome problem. That was a relief to hear. He also said that even if it's just the heart defect with no chromosome issues, she still will only have a 50% chance of living once she's born. Ok, so that's not what I wanted to hear, but I can't bury my head in the sand. Thus went hour #1.
Hour #2... the ultrasound. Lowell's mom and Samuel got to come back for this. The ultrasound tech was one of those people that just has a perpetual smile, and I just feel drawn to people like that. So nice. Here we go for level 3 ultrasound. I was hoping it might be a 3-D one, but it wasn't, just a stronger and more powerful one than our hospital. She showed us her fingers, her nose, smile, face, spine, humerus, ulna, radius, femur, and even her little, left club foot. Kind of hurt my heart for a minute there to look at it, but made me so thankful for technology and doctors that can supposedly fix it without much of a problem, I hope. I had to turn on my side for her to see the heart and then I couldn't see the screen. Lowell said he could see the right heart as she labeled it, but then couldn't see anything else. Granted he also said he really wasn't sure what all he was looking at. Bless these people that can tell what's what on those ultrasound screens. Her left heart looked very small indeed. Dr. Rajabi said that out of the 5 point he tried to see, there were problems with 3 of them that he could tell. She was moving quite a bit giving them a challenge to snap the picture at the right moment. He was not trying to be all gloom and doom, but just trying to be realistic and up front. So... he did see another problem outside of the club foot that could easily be caused by chromosomes. The umbilical cord was not formed normal, although it seemed to be working fine. Here we go again... don't quote me on this... something about it supposed to having 2 arteries connecting it and there was only one...? Combine that with the club foot and he had enough reasons to want to test for chromosome causes. Since no where that we know of in either of our families has anyone had a club foot, which is usually hereditary, that leads him to think it is a chromosome caused problem too. At this point as the ultrasound was ending, I was feeling exhausted, and my emotions were rising, but with many prayers from so many people, I was able to keep them in check since we still had more to do that I needed to be sane for. Thanks again for all the prayers today!
Hour #3... the Amniocentesis (yay.) I was mentally ready to do it today, so jumped right into the whole process. The prayers of God's people were definitely answered during this hour! When it came time, they sent everyone else out. I was kind of hoping Lowell could've stayed, but then remembered how bad he is with needles, and realized it's for the best. (Love you Lowell!) The prep took forever it seemed, and then out comes this long, lovely needle... Did I mention it was kind of long? The ultrasound tech had the view on screen and was showing him exactly where he was with the needle. She never took her eyes off the tip of the needle and was telling him to pull back, move left, and so on. I hardly felt the needle go in and felt less pain than the last blood sample drawn that turned my arm purple. Everything went perfectly and God was in the midst of that room! I smiled, answered the doctor as he talked to me throughout it. I have to say I was nervous during the prep, but actually when the needle came into view... I know this sounds weird, but at that point is when I was overwhelmed with peace. I watched it go in, watched the screen and the tip of it, watched the fluid fill up the tube like I was observing someone else. While the tube was slowly filling up, he's telling me what they do with this. They take the skin cells from the fluid and grow it in the lab like a culture and then they are able to take that and separate out my 23 X chromosomes and match them up to Lowell's 23 Y ones. Then they can look for any extra... Praying it's God's will that there will be no extra ones floating around in there. The doctor even thanked me for being a such a good patient and handling it so well. To God be the glory. He just smiled. So did I.
God upheld us all the way through the 3 and 1/2+ hours we were there. I was told to go home and stay off my feet the rest of the day. Loved hearing that since I was about to fall asleep on the ultrasound table. We made our appointment for 2 weeks to go back and get the news of the test results and of course, another ultrasound. This will be one well photographed little girl! I have this sneaking suspicion that these next 2 weeks might seem longer than the next 3 months. We all talked as we left, made some phone calls, let them know I wouldn't be at church and called my replacements. Chit chatted in the car about it all, but the tiredness was stronger than my emotions for most of that time. We did see a rainbow on the way home and it hasn't rained in a while. It put a smile on our faces that God was reminding us that He is still in control. Love when God throws in special little things like that when He doesn't have to. Got home at 5:15 and went to bed. Woke up around 8. Got a bite to eat and went back to bed. Didn't sleep this time. This is when I was now somewhat rested and now the emotions took over. I am so thankful for my loving, sweet husband! He just held me as we cried and talked about the day and how we were feeling and what were the hardest things for each of us to deal with through this. I hurt for Cayla. I hurt for Samuel. This was not an easy day for him. At one point he just plugged his ears as I was telling my family the results of the day. He's got a sensitive heart and this is really affecting him. Both he and Lowell are having to really focus hard at work and school. We really appreciate all the prayers being offered on our family's behalf. God has sustained us and will continue to during these next months and Lord-willing, years.
I wasn't going to write anything until tomorrow, but I felt so refreshed tonight despite the late hour and the day, that I decided to get up and pour my little heart out onto the blog. We serve an awesome God. He is everything He's ever promised He would be. There is no better place to be in the world than in His will and in His care. You know, for anyone who's kind of backed off from God or never even known Him personally, you don't realize the wonderful peace, rest, love and so much more that you're missing despite what your circumstances are. God is real. God is amazing. I wish everyone that reads this would come to know and understand this first-hand and not just take my word for it. My email address is lindasowry@gmail.com. Send me a note if you want to know more. I'd love to talk about it with you. It would make all this worth it!
Thanks for the umpteenth time for all your prayers! God is working behind the scenes in ways I can't imagine right now. I'm ready for tomorrow... one day at a time. :o) Woah, I guess it's time for bed since it's now 1:20am. Goodnight my friends!
Lowell and I had a very good, informative talk with Dr. Rajabi. He was so good! He drew pictures to describe Cayla's condition, answered all our questions, and was so patient, clear and understanding with us. The whole staff there was wonderful. So over-the-top in helping us through every step. He explained that this is a syndrome in that it has many levels of possibilities in severeness which makes every case very individualized. He is looking for 5 main things in the left side of her heart. Each could be at a differing degree of defect. I don't know that I could remember it all, but something like the aorta, the aorta ventricle (or something), the valve between the 2 chambers, and the lower chamber... ok, so I really can't remember. Anyways, he said he will be looking at these parts as closely as possible today. He also said that he did not want to do the amniocentesis unless the ultrasound showed any other unexplained abnormalities that would lead to a possible chromosome problem. That was a relief to hear. He also said that even if it's just the heart defect with no chromosome issues, she still will only have a 50% chance of living once she's born. Ok, so that's not what I wanted to hear, but I can't bury my head in the sand. Thus went hour #1.
Hour #2... the ultrasound. Lowell's mom and Samuel got to come back for this. The ultrasound tech was one of those people that just has a perpetual smile, and I just feel drawn to people like that. So nice. Here we go for level 3 ultrasound. I was hoping it might be a 3-D one, but it wasn't, just a stronger and more powerful one than our hospital. She showed us her fingers, her nose, smile, face, spine, humerus, ulna, radius, femur, and even her little, left club foot. Kind of hurt my heart for a minute there to look at it, but made me so thankful for technology and doctors that can supposedly fix it without much of a problem, I hope. I had to turn on my side for her to see the heart and then I couldn't see the screen. Lowell said he could see the right heart as she labeled it, but then couldn't see anything else. Granted he also said he really wasn't sure what all he was looking at. Bless these people that can tell what's what on those ultrasound screens. Her left heart looked very small indeed. Dr. Rajabi said that out of the 5 point he tried to see, there were problems with 3 of them that he could tell. She was moving quite a bit giving them a challenge to snap the picture at the right moment. He was not trying to be all gloom and doom, but just trying to be realistic and up front. So... he did see another problem outside of the club foot that could easily be caused by chromosomes. The umbilical cord was not formed normal, although it seemed to be working fine. Here we go again... don't quote me on this... something about it supposed to having 2 arteries connecting it and there was only one...? Combine that with the club foot and he had enough reasons to want to test for chromosome causes. Since no where that we know of in either of our families has anyone had a club foot, which is usually hereditary, that leads him to think it is a chromosome caused problem too. At this point as the ultrasound was ending, I was feeling exhausted, and my emotions were rising, but with many prayers from so many people, I was able to keep them in check since we still had more to do that I needed to be sane for. Thanks again for all the prayers today!
Hour #3... the Amniocentesis (yay.) I was mentally ready to do it today, so jumped right into the whole process. The prayers of God's people were definitely answered during this hour! When it came time, they sent everyone else out. I was kind of hoping Lowell could've stayed, but then remembered how bad he is with needles, and realized it's for the best. (Love you Lowell!) The prep took forever it seemed, and then out comes this long, lovely needle... Did I mention it was kind of long? The ultrasound tech had the view on screen and was showing him exactly where he was with the needle. She never took her eyes off the tip of the needle and was telling him to pull back, move left, and so on. I hardly felt the needle go in and felt less pain than the last blood sample drawn that turned my arm purple. Everything went perfectly and God was in the midst of that room! I smiled, answered the doctor as he talked to me throughout it. I have to say I was nervous during the prep, but actually when the needle came into view... I know this sounds weird, but at that point is when I was overwhelmed with peace. I watched it go in, watched the screen and the tip of it, watched the fluid fill up the tube like I was observing someone else. While the tube was slowly filling up, he's telling me what they do with this. They take the skin cells from the fluid and grow it in the lab like a culture and then they are able to take that and separate out my 23 X chromosomes and match them up to Lowell's 23 Y ones. Then they can look for any extra... Praying it's God's will that there will be no extra ones floating around in there. The doctor even thanked me for being a such a good patient and handling it so well. To God be the glory. He just smiled. So did I.
God upheld us all the way through the 3 and 1/2+ hours we were there. I was told to go home and stay off my feet the rest of the day. Loved hearing that since I was about to fall asleep on the ultrasound table. We made our appointment for 2 weeks to go back and get the news of the test results and of course, another ultrasound. This will be one well photographed little girl! I have this sneaking suspicion that these next 2 weeks might seem longer than the next 3 months. We all talked as we left, made some phone calls, let them know I wouldn't be at church and called my replacements. Chit chatted in the car about it all, but the tiredness was stronger than my emotions for most of that time. We did see a rainbow on the way home and it hasn't rained in a while. It put a smile on our faces that God was reminding us that He is still in control. Love when God throws in special little things like that when He doesn't have to. Got home at 5:15 and went to bed. Woke up around 8. Got a bite to eat and went back to bed. Didn't sleep this time. This is when I was now somewhat rested and now the emotions took over. I am so thankful for my loving, sweet husband! He just held me as we cried and talked about the day and how we were feeling and what were the hardest things for each of us to deal with through this. I hurt for Cayla. I hurt for Samuel. This was not an easy day for him. At one point he just plugged his ears as I was telling my family the results of the day. He's got a sensitive heart and this is really affecting him. Both he and Lowell are having to really focus hard at work and school. We really appreciate all the prayers being offered on our family's behalf. God has sustained us and will continue to during these next months and Lord-willing, years.
I wasn't going to write anything until tomorrow, but I felt so refreshed tonight despite the late hour and the day, that I decided to get up and pour my little heart out onto the blog. We serve an awesome God. He is everything He's ever promised He would be. There is no better place to be in the world than in His will and in His care. You know, for anyone who's kind of backed off from God or never even known Him personally, you don't realize the wonderful peace, rest, love and so much more that you're missing despite what your circumstances are. God is real. God is amazing. I wish everyone that reads this would come to know and understand this first-hand and not just take my word for it. My email address is lindasowry@gmail.com. Send me a note if you want to know more. I'd love to talk about it with you. It would make all this worth it!
Thanks for the umpteenth time for all your prayers! God is working behind the scenes in ways I can't imagine right now. I'm ready for tomorrow... one day at a time. :o) Woah, I guess it's time for bed since it's now 1:20am. Goodnight my friends!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
A verse for our lives right now
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you:
not as the world giveth, give I unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
John 14:27
I read this morning John chapters 14-16 to just soak up everything it says about the Holy Spirit, our Comforter. So encouraged! I read John 14:27 and then kept reading. A few verses later, I went back to 14:27. I continued to read the chapters, but kept going back to this verse in particular. I love the peace He promises, and I love the reference to the heart. This verse is for Cayla too. This peace is only from God. I do not know what the outcome will be for Cayla, but God does. That gives me peace whether it means she'll be here on earth growing with us, or in Heaven perfect in the presence of God. I just had to share this verse. It has been a great boost to my spirits today!
I had a great hour and a half talk with a friend last night that I've known for over 30 years. God knows I needed that talk! She lost her first child an hour after he was born due to chromosome 13, one of the options for Cayla. How God can use something so painful years later to help someone else is wonderful! It was great to hear her story again of God's grace from a new perspective and for her to remember a special little one that God gave them. Praise God for that little life that was here an hour on earth, but is still making an impact 11 years later!
I still plan to keep going back and reminiscing about events, conversations, stories and more over the next few weeks. I just want to remember what this time in our lives was like for the days ahead when I can't quite remember. I'm sure some of it might be boring to read, but it already feels good to write this all out. I will of course also be posting current news, so stay tuned. This whole blogging thing is new to me, so bear with me.
Thanks for all the encouragement! I've tried to respond to your posts on the blog, but nothing happens when I hit "reply". Maybe I'll figure this out eventually. Thanks again and may God give you His peace!!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Prayer Request for this Wed. 2/8/12
Good morning!
We - me, Lowell, Samuel and my mother-in-law, will be going to Hillcrest Hospital in Cleveland at 1pm on Wednesday to meet with Dr. Rajabi again, but this time in his hospital with all his equipment. He will do another more advanced ultrasound and more that I won't know until we do it.
My main prayer request for this Wednesday is the amniocentesis testing. They are needing to get a sample of the amniotic fluid to do chromosomal testing. They usually do this test earlier on in the pregnancy when the baby's smaller which means there's more fluid and less baby, whereas now at 27 weeks, there's less fluid and much more baby. I am asking for prayer for Cayla's protection during this process. There are stories of problems caused from that needle hitting the baby in extremely sensitive, developing places. Just makes me nervous. God is ultimately in control, but please pray and ask for her protection.
We are "late" in doing this because of insurance. Lowell's insurance with his new job did not start until Jan. 5th. So all these ultrasounds and tests are going on later than normal in the pregnancy.
I have to say though, that a huge comfort to me, whether it should be or not I don't know, is that we are going to be at Cleveland Clinic. People come from all over to see these doctors, and it gives me comfort to know that these are the doctors that are going to be taking care of our precious little Cayla Joy. We will be at Hillcrest which might be their pediatric branch. Not sure what Hillcrest is. Could just be a regular hospital, but I just feel such a sense of peace about being here with these doctors.
Also, my 16 year old son Samuel is taking this so well, but just remember him in your prayers too. He struggled a bit this weekend with God finally giving him a sister, and then dealing with the thought that God might take her home. It's all about perspective. He is learning to develop that all encompassing trust and peace from God when we completely surrender trials to Him. It's easier for me to trust God right now, and I don't want to forget that he is still at a crucial age to where God can become so real to him or misunderstood.
Thanks for your prayers and support! We serve a mighty and wonderful God!
We - me, Lowell, Samuel and my mother-in-law, will be going to Hillcrest Hospital in Cleveland at 1pm on Wednesday to meet with Dr. Rajabi again, but this time in his hospital with all his equipment. He will do another more advanced ultrasound and more that I won't know until we do it.
My main prayer request for this Wednesday is the amniocentesis testing. They are needing to get a sample of the amniotic fluid to do chromosomal testing. They usually do this test earlier on in the pregnancy when the baby's smaller which means there's more fluid and less baby, whereas now at 27 weeks, there's less fluid and much more baby. I am asking for prayer for Cayla's protection during this process. There are stories of problems caused from that needle hitting the baby in extremely sensitive, developing places. Just makes me nervous. God is ultimately in control, but please pray and ask for her protection.
We are "late" in doing this because of insurance. Lowell's insurance with his new job did not start until Jan. 5th. So all these ultrasounds and tests are going on later than normal in the pregnancy.
I have to say though, that a huge comfort to me, whether it should be or not I don't know, is that we are going to be at Cleveland Clinic. People come from all over to see these doctors, and it gives me comfort to know that these are the doctors that are going to be taking care of our precious little Cayla Joy. We will be at Hillcrest which might be their pediatric branch. Not sure what Hillcrest is. Could just be a regular hospital, but I just feel such a sense of peace about being here with these doctors.
Also, my 16 year old son Samuel is taking this so well, but just remember him in your prayers too. He struggled a bit this weekend with God finally giving him a sister, and then dealing with the thought that God might take her home. It's all about perspective. He is learning to develop that all encompassing trust and peace from God when we completely surrender trials to Him. It's easier for me to trust God right now, and I don't want to forget that he is still at a crucial age to where God can become so real to him or misunderstood.
Thanks for your prayers and support! We serve a mighty and wonderful God!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
A little background info
Thanks for the prayers and support! We are blessed with technology available today!
My husband Lowell and my son Samuel and I have now lived in northeast Ohio for about 4 and 1/2 years. This where Lowell is from and his family is here. Our son is 16 and it has been 17 years since I was pregnant. We owned a local Christian Bookstore here in Ashtabula county and had to close the doors at the end of July 2011. I could not imagine what God was doing at the time. I did not realize it, but 2 weeks after we closed, I became pregnant. I don't think pregnancy anymore... I just don't go there since it's been so long. I've not had miscarriages that I know of and I'm 42 and my husband is 51. I thought that I had cancer since my mom had cancer in her 40's. I wasn't feeling all that great, was sleeping all the time, felt something hard in my abdomen, and occasionaly had pain there too. I also have Celiac Disease which mimics pregnancy symptoms perfectly, so I just thought I'd eaten something with gluten. It wasn't until October 20th that my husband put all the pieces together and asked me if I thought I could be pregnant... Let's just say we had a good laugh over that. As I was laying in bed that night, I kept thinking about that and everything that was happening. I told myself I'd look to see if I still had an old pregnancy test in my bedside drawer and take it in the morning. So I did find one, took it and up came a big plus sign. I looked at the experation date, and it said June of 2009. Well, after the shock wore off, I thought, I can't base a life-altering thing like this on an expired test. Had blood work done that day and yes, I was pregnant. What an amazing feeling! I cried, then cried some more... tears of joy mind you. I'd told God when we were married that 6 children would be fine, or more if He so desired and after 16 years, I only had one child. I wasn't sure how far along I was and was told maybe 6-7 weeks, but not sure. I found an OB/GYN and set up an appointment as soon as I could, and found out that week that I was actually 13-14 weeks along. What a shock! Actually a good shock since I "missed" my whole first trimester.
Well, after we had closed our store, my husband had found a job in customer service at Ken Forging in Jefferson, OH. He didn't start that job until Oct. 3rd which meant we had no insurance until January 3rd. So after my initial visit, I waited until January to go back to see the doctor. I had my blood work done and went for my ultrasound the next week and saw the doctor the next week. At the ultrasound, I was on the table for an hour and 15 minutes while she took close to 90 pictures. I thought that was a little odd, but I am older, and I have no idea what they do now-a-days. Apparently she found a problem with her heart then but of course was unable to say anything. I went to see my doctor and she was very evasive and told me that she'd like me to see the specialist that comes here every other week from Cleveland. Well, I had the wrong Friday in my mind and missed that appointment and had to wait 2 weeks and was able to go this past Friday, Feb. 3rd. This series of ultrasounds led to a talk with Dr. Rajabi afterwards where he told us the news about Cayla Joy.
Well, I'll have to pick this up later. It's late and I'm tired. Stay tuned. :o)
My husband Lowell and my son Samuel and I have now lived in northeast Ohio for about 4 and 1/2 years. This where Lowell is from and his family is here. Our son is 16 and it has been 17 years since I was pregnant. We owned a local Christian Bookstore here in Ashtabula county and had to close the doors at the end of July 2011. I could not imagine what God was doing at the time. I did not realize it, but 2 weeks after we closed, I became pregnant. I don't think pregnancy anymore... I just don't go there since it's been so long. I've not had miscarriages that I know of and I'm 42 and my husband is 51. I thought that I had cancer since my mom had cancer in her 40's. I wasn't feeling all that great, was sleeping all the time, felt something hard in my abdomen, and occasionaly had pain there too. I also have Celiac Disease which mimics pregnancy symptoms perfectly, so I just thought I'd eaten something with gluten. It wasn't until October 20th that my husband put all the pieces together and asked me if I thought I could be pregnant... Let's just say we had a good laugh over that. As I was laying in bed that night, I kept thinking about that and everything that was happening. I told myself I'd look to see if I still had an old pregnancy test in my bedside drawer and take it in the morning. So I did find one, took it and up came a big plus sign. I looked at the experation date, and it said June of 2009. Well, after the shock wore off, I thought, I can't base a life-altering thing like this on an expired test. Had blood work done that day and yes, I was pregnant. What an amazing feeling! I cried, then cried some more... tears of joy mind you. I'd told God when we were married that 6 children would be fine, or more if He so desired and after 16 years, I only had one child. I wasn't sure how far along I was and was told maybe 6-7 weeks, but not sure. I found an OB/GYN and set up an appointment as soon as I could, and found out that week that I was actually 13-14 weeks along. What a shock! Actually a good shock since I "missed" my whole first trimester.
Well, after we had closed our store, my husband had found a job in customer service at Ken Forging in Jefferson, OH. He didn't start that job until Oct. 3rd which meant we had no insurance until January 3rd. So after my initial visit, I waited until January to go back to see the doctor. I had my blood work done and went for my ultrasound the next week and saw the doctor the next week. At the ultrasound, I was on the table for an hour and 15 minutes while she took close to 90 pictures. I thought that was a little odd, but I am older, and I have no idea what they do now-a-days. Apparently she found a problem with her heart then but of course was unable to say anything. I went to see my doctor and she was very evasive and told me that she'd like me to see the specialist that comes here every other week from Cleveland. Well, I had the wrong Friday in my mind and missed that appointment and had to wait 2 weeks and was able to go this past Friday, Feb. 3rd. This series of ultrasounds led to a talk with Dr. Rajabi afterwards where he told us the news about Cayla Joy.
Well, I'll have to pick this up later. It's late and I'm tired. Stay tuned. :o)
Welcome
Here's 2 pictures of our precious Cayla from this past Friday's ultrasound with Dr. Rajabi.
I was going to buy a journal and write the story of Cayla Joy, but then thought I'd set up a blog instead. So, here we are. I'm ready for a nap after trying to figure out how to set this up. But onward we go.
I am just going to start where we're at now and back track the past months at a later time.
We found out this past Friday that Cayla has a pretty severe heart defect. It's called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. The left, and primary pumping side, is extremely underdeveloped. The specialist, Dr. Rajabi from Cleveland Clinic, needs me to have an amniocentesis test done this Wednesday the 8th in Cleveland to determine the cause of this heart defect. It could be caused by a chromosome imbalance, (not good) or it could just be a congenital heart defect all on its own (much better). The sample of amniotic fluid will determine the cause. It takes 10 days to complete the chromosome test. There are 3 chromosomes that could cause this problem, #13, #18, or #21. He said the 13 and 18 usually result in death either before delivery or shortly thereafter. There are babies that have lived with the 18, such as Rick Santorum's little 3 and 1/2 year old, but that is extremely rare. The 21 is Downs Syndrome, which would be ok, just adding another problem to her heart problem, but still ok. So... we wait to find out in 2 and 1/2 weeks. The importance of the cause determines what happens these next 3 months. If it is a chromosome problem, they will see me at delivery. There is nothing they can do. If it is not, they will run an intensive series of tests and ultrasounds to gain as much information about the heart as possible before birth to determine who and what needs to be present at birth. She will need surgery within the first week of her little life and then again at 3 months and at 2 or 3 years old, I think. She also has a club foot, on the left side and there might be other problems on her left side. This is apparently easily corrected with today's technology.
Here is a link to a website that explains more if you're interested to find out more. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypoplastic_left_heart_syndrome
There's so much more to say, but the most important thing of all is that we have a precious gift from God that we never planned on, but He has seen fit to give her to us at this stage of our lives. I don't even pretend to understand this, which would be trying to understand the mind of God, but I can accept it whole-heartedly because I know the Creator. She is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, just as He planned. Who am I to argue with His purposes? God will get all the glory for this precious little life He has chosen to create. If He decides to take her back after a short time with her, that will be a hard pill to swallow, but it will be for His glory. I am obviously praying that He decides to let her live even though it will be a tough life. God is in control of it all and knows what His purpose for Cayla's life is. I actually feel honored that God is trusting us with this precious little life who will obviously need much care over the years. You know, He could have the doctors see all this and then choose to heal her. Who knows. We just get to wait, trust, and rest in Him and His promises! To God be the glory!
I was going to buy a journal and write the story of Cayla Joy, but then thought I'd set up a blog instead. So, here we are. I'm ready for a nap after trying to figure out how to set this up. But onward we go.
I am just going to start where we're at now and back track the past months at a later time.
We found out this past Friday that Cayla has a pretty severe heart defect. It's called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. The left, and primary pumping side, is extremely underdeveloped. The specialist, Dr. Rajabi from Cleveland Clinic, needs me to have an amniocentesis test done this Wednesday the 8th in Cleveland to determine the cause of this heart defect. It could be caused by a chromosome imbalance, (not good) or it could just be a congenital heart defect all on its own (much better). The sample of amniotic fluid will determine the cause. It takes 10 days to complete the chromosome test. There are 3 chromosomes that could cause this problem, #13, #18, or #21. He said the 13 and 18 usually result in death either before delivery or shortly thereafter. There are babies that have lived with the 18, such as Rick Santorum's little 3 and 1/2 year old, but that is extremely rare. The 21 is Downs Syndrome, which would be ok, just adding another problem to her heart problem, but still ok. So... we wait to find out in 2 and 1/2 weeks. The importance of the cause determines what happens these next 3 months. If it is a chromosome problem, they will see me at delivery. There is nothing they can do. If it is not, they will run an intensive series of tests and ultrasounds to gain as much information about the heart as possible before birth to determine who and what needs to be present at birth. She will need surgery within the first week of her little life and then again at 3 months and at 2 or 3 years old, I think. She also has a club foot, on the left side and there might be other problems on her left side. This is apparently easily corrected with today's technology.
Here is a link to a website that explains more if you're interested to find out more. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypoplastic_left_heart_syndrome
There's so much more to say, but the most important thing of all is that we have a precious gift from God that we never planned on, but He has seen fit to give her to us at this stage of our lives. I don't even pretend to understand this, which would be trying to understand the mind of God, but I can accept it whole-heartedly because I know the Creator. She is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, just as He planned. Who am I to argue with His purposes? God will get all the glory for this precious little life He has chosen to create. If He decides to take her back after a short time with her, that will be a hard pill to swallow, but it will be for His glory. I am obviously praying that He decides to let her live even though it will be a tough life. God is in control of it all and knows what His purpose for Cayla's life is. I actually feel honored that God is trusting us with this precious little life who will obviously need much care over the years. You know, He could have the doctors see all this and then choose to heal her. Who knows. We just get to wait, trust, and rest in Him and His promises! To God be the glory!
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